Romeo And…

1.06: The Church of OkCupid

April 12, 2015

This episode of Romeo And... is all about online dating. In the episode I share a story about my experiences on OkCupid. Mostly, it's pretty sad. The story itself is a dark comedy, and the ending is especially melancholy. Although, I did learn a lot from my experiences and I share all of that in the episode breakdown. 

View the full story here (You must be logged in to view the full story!) 

Leading up to the story, I talk a little about a more recent experience I had using OkCupid. I met someone online and we decided to meet up in person. However, as the guy, I was expected to pick the first date. And I talk about how funny it is that guys, even though we tend to be pretty bad at coming up with first date ideas, are generally put into the position to do it. Meanwhile, most of my straight female friends are full of great first date ideas that they are never able to use because they are dependent on the men they date to suggest them. This is the society we live in. 

After the story I share with you my advice for approaching and asking someone on a date. I called it G.R.O.W, which breaks down to: 

1. Greet the person 

Fairly straightforward. Just walk up to the person and say hello. Often it's the most difficult step because it can be nerve wracking just to approach someone you find attractive. But you can't meet someone new if you never introduce yourself. 

2 & 3. Give your Reason for approaching, and Open the conversation to him/her 

These two steps go hand-in-hand. First, you let the person know why you wanted to approach him/her. This is what is going to give you the opportunity to start a conversation with the person. This could be a compliment or an observation you make about the person. You can then use this to ask a question and open the conversation up to him/her. For example, you might say, "I noticed you reading Shakespeare. Are you a big fan of poetry?" 

4. Watch his/her reaction 

The final step is to watch, listen, and observe. This step is key. Look at the person's body language and non-verbal queues especially. Do they seem uncomfortable? Do they seem genuinely happy you stopped to speak with them? You can judge based on the person's reaction how you go forward with the conversation or if you go forward with the conversation at all. The person might let you know either verbally or nonverbally that he/she is not interested, at which point you can politely say your goodbyes. 

The G.R.O.W method can be used in real-life situations as well as online interactions. Simply type whatever greeting you would have used, and give your reason based on the person's profile. 

All this said, I'm not a big fan of the acronym "GROW." If you have an idea for a better acronym or have heard of a similar strategy that has its own formula, let me know about it. Leave a comment in the box below or send me an email.