Answering questions about men's issues from men's rights activists. After hosting an AMA (Ask Me Anything) on the men's rights subreddit, I compiled a list of questions many MRAs have for feminists. Unfortunately, (mainly due to my own oversights) the people who commented on my post were all looking for an argument. As a result, most of the information I could gather from the AMA is ineffectual.
However, the actual questions I was asked were thought provoking and yielded some good insight as to what many men's rights activists dislike about our current social systems, as well as where my thoughts and theirs overlap.
At the top of the show, I talk about mental illness and a lot of the misconceptions people have about it. Does having depression mean you are just "sad" and need a pick-me-up? If you have a lot of friends, and a good job, and a caring partner, does it mean that you can't be depressed? Can having these things cure depression?
The short answer: Nope.
Read the rest of this entry »
In episode 9 of the show, I discussed how I felt about men's fashion, especially at award shows. Women seem to have all the options, while men have the choice of: black suit, grey suit, or white suit. In response to this, seamstress and artist Serastar Freese got in touch with me to open my eyes a bit about men's fashion and the options that do exist in dressing up.
A lot of men think of suits as "one suit fits all." Meaning, your one suit can be worn to any formal event, in any location, at any time of the year. And though, to a large extent, men can get away with this more so than women can, there are suits made for specific occasions and instances. There is such a thing as a summer suit versus a winter suit. And the fabric used to make your outfit can ultimately determine how comfortable you end up feeling in any given situation.
Serastar gives some great insight and tips for how to better understand what to look for in formal attire, as well as how you should end up feeling when wearing your clothes. If it doesn't feel comfortable, it just isn't right for you.
At the top of the show, I talk about International Men's Day, which occurred this past week on November 19th. The University of York canceled their International Men's Day event, and it stirred up a good amount of controversy, especially within the Men's Rights community. Is International Men's Day really that big of a deal? Should we really have a special day to celebrate the lives of men? Send me your thoughts!
- Row after University of York cancels International Men’s Day event - The Guardian - http://bit.ly/1MTzkpN
- International Men's Day - Official Site - http://www.internationalmensday.com
- Craft Caravan - Official Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/craftcaravancolorado
I shared the story For the Love of Flying Trapeze in the previous episode of the show. This week, I'm following up with my analysis of what I learned and what conclusions could be drawn from the events. I hit on some really key points as well.
Namely, I talk about long distance relationships and what conditions need to be true in order for them to succeed. I explain how to tell if someone is flirting with you or if they are just being friendly, and whether the distinction is important to make (spoiler: it's not that important!). I also bring up once again why it is important to be clear with your intentions. In other words, if you want to go out on a date, don't simply ask your crush to "hang out" with you. That said, I discuss how just hanging out could actually be a good way to get into a relationship as well.
I also talk about the so-called "Friend Zone," and why, instead of dreading it, you should celebrate it! I know it's not something you would expect a "Nice Guy" to tell you to do... but trust me on this one. There are plenty of benefits about being in the "Friend Zone" that you can use to your advantage.
At the top of the show, I talk about the biological differences between men and women and how these differences led to the development of the "gender laws" we live by today. I try to highlight the difference between the behaviors that stem directly or indirectly from our different biology (ex. women being more sexually selective than men, and men being more competitive than women), and the ideas that we develop based on our socialization, independent of our biological nature (ex. women must be caretakers, men must be soldiers).
- MATE: Become The Man Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller - Mating Grounds -- http://bit.ly/1Q0UQPT
Sharing the story For the Love of Flying Trapeze about my experience dating a fellow circus person. With the challenges of constant travel and irregular schedules, it can be extremely difficult to be in a relationship when you work in the circus world. That difficulty is multiplied when you add the fact that you are a socially anxious "Nice Guy"...
At the top of the show, I talk about the video game streaming website Twitch and the recent tightening of its dress policy. The new policy was targeted almost exclusively at female streamers who would attempt to entice young male viewers with their cleavage. This incited a heated debate about censorship and freedom of expression on the site. I share my two cents about the various arguments.
Be sure to send in your thoughts and questions about this week's story so I can address them in the upcoming episode!
- For the Love of Flying Trapeze - Street Saint - http://bit.ly/1XNem3B
Movie analysis of the independent comedy The Baxter by Michael Showalter. The film centers around the character in a romantic movie who is left at the alter. He is the guy who the leading lady starts dating after breaking up with the leading man. He is a nice guy, but he is not right for her. And this movie shows us exactly why.
In my analysis, I talk about the defining features of a Baxter (aka. Nice Guy). Namely, they are naive losers who don't know what they really want or need out of life and relationships. I discuss how the aversion to taking risks is often falsely cited as the cause of the Baxter's failure to maintain a relationship, and how we demand these men to change who they are to fit a more idealized version of masculinity.
At the top of the show, I discuss the viral video of the boy who knocks a girl off her bike with a basketball. I talk about how catcalling is deeply rooted to men's upbringing, and I share my theory as to why men catcall women in the first place.
- Boy Knocks Girl Off Bike With Basketball - The Young Turks - http://bit.ly/1Q0Uskr
- MATE: Become The Man Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller - Mating Grounds - http://bit.ly/1Q0UQPT
- Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg - Modern Romance - http://book.azizansari.com
- Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era by Michael Kimmel - http://amzn.to/1Q0V7Cq
- Movie dialogue and sound clips from The Baxter courtesy of IFC Films